Navigating Grief: Understanding Loss and Finding Support

Grief is often described as a series of stages, but in reality, it is far more complex, personal, and unpredictable. While Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, these were never meant to follow a strict order or apply the same way to everyone.

Grief does not move in a straight line. It shifts, overlaps, and revisits itself. What you are feeling, no matter how inconsistent or overwhelming, is a natural response to loss.

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Understanding the Five Stages

Denial

In the early moments of loss, denial can act as a buffer. It allows the mind to process difficult news gradually. You may feel numb, disconnected, or as though the loss isn’t real. This is not avoidance, it is protection.

Anger

As reality sets in, anger may surface. It can be directed at others, at circumstances, or inward. Often, it reflects deeper feelings of fear, helplessness, or loss of control. While uncomfortable, anger is a valid and meaningful part of the process.

Bargaining

This stage is marked by “what if” and “if only” thoughts. It reflects a desire to regain control or rewrite what has happened. Though these thoughts may not be rational, they serve an emotional purpose by helping individuals process regret and maintain hope.

Depression

As the permanence of loss becomes clearer, deep sadness may follow. This is not necessarily clinical depression, but a natural response to grief. Feelings of fatigue, withdrawal, and emptiness are common during this stage.

Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean the loss is resolved or no longer painful. It means finding a way to live alongside it, integrating the experience while still allowing space for meaning, connection and even moments of peace.

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Grief Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

You may not experience all five stages, or you may experience them in a different order. Some emotions may come and go, overlap or return when you least expect them, it is the natural rhythm of grief.

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You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone

One of the most difficult aspects of grief is the sense of isolation it can create. But healing often happens through connection, with others who understand, with professionals who can guide you and with communities that provide space for shared experience.

At Parker Jewish Institute, we recognize that grief can begin long before a loss and continue well after. That’s why we offer support for both individuals who have experienced loss and those caring for loved ones at the end of life.

Our Forget Me Not Support Group provides a compassionate, in-person environment where individuals can share experiences, engage in guided discussions, and explore healing through connection.

For those experiencing anticipatory grief, our Transitions Support Group offers a virtual space to process emotions, learn coping strategies and connect with others facing similar challenges.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief you are not alone. Support is available.

To learn more, please call (516) 586-1575.

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FAQs

Is it normal if I don’t experience all five stages?

Yes. Not everyone goes through each stage, and they don’t occur in a set order. Remember it is not a checklist.

How long does grief last?

There is no fixed timeline. Grief can come in waves, easing over time but resurfacing during anniversaries, holidays or meaningful moments.

Can I feel multiple stages at once?

Yes. It’s common to feel conflicting emotions simultaneously. This reflects how grief naturally works.

When should I seek professional help?

If grief begins to interfere with daily functioning, persists without improvement over time or includes thoughts of self-harm, it’s important to seek support.

Is anger during grief normal?

Yes. Anger is a natural response and often masks deeper emotions like sadness or fear.

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